Is That a Yes or a No?

Profound lessons about freedom and boundaries from bumps, hugs, and beyond

Still working on this image selection quandary, but this is cool? Photo by Jez Timms on Unsplash

Boundaries established, boundaries pushed, a chat, questions, shouting, more questions, negotiating, more shouting, another chat, hugs, more negotiating, touching each others’ noses, more hugs, verbal expressions of love, rest. Can I touch your nose?

If you have ever known a toddler, you know the dance. My son is that joyful, exhausting dance partner, the last guy on the floor at 3 a.m., the sleepover friend who wants to talk all night. He is the orb that lights up the place. And he hugs strangers. (He is not unlike his mother in this regard.)

When you walk around with him, strangers will be shocked by the hugs. You will mumble things, because my God, we are in a fucking pandemic, don’t touch that/him/her/them/it. Thank God he has learned how to bump fists, and that is thanks to Raf. But bottom line, he mostly runs in for the tackle-hug, and humans do not know what to do with these unbridled expressions of love from a relative stranger. You do not want to undo this kind of thing, necessarily, because he is 3, and this is a sweet instinct. But you also need to teach him about Covid-19, about people needing space, about asking before you touch (like we do with our noses at bedtime). Also, about his Whiteness and his maleness. For…